Hello and welcome to my website!

It is finally here! I am so happy and beyond words. I remember when I was a teenager and just discovered the internet. I don’t remember how but I discovered the two websites where you can customise the way your page looks and write things but also receive letters from your friends. I love words so much. As a kid I didn’t want to achieve anything else in life than to know how to read and write. I used to grab my mum’s phonebook and try to draw letters. When I grabbed a book I looked at the pictures and words for hours. In my mind I made up the story just by looking at them and that went a little further, as if I was adding to the book. From that moment on a fantasy writer was born💚 I am still working on my fantasy, history and magick story. I am so glad I never lost my fantasy.

I love the beautiful world of writing and I believe one day I’ll be a paid writer in the real world. Reading is living a thousand different lives and flying into several magical worlds. My books are my shields. I hope my writing will feel the same for you. When people ask me what I want to accomplish I can’t think of anything that makes me more happy other than learning about history, herbs, making my own oil and balm and taking care of plants and the forest. A wee guardian faery^^

I have written a lot of blogs on my facebook and instagram about my mental health journey and received a lot of positive reactions, people saying I inspired them and that is all I want to do. So then I kept writing but I felt like my blogs deserved their own place since social media is mostly used to just scroll around and communicate with people during chats. Last year it felt like my world fell apart after a breakup and an attempt to tried to start working again. I am diagnosed with complex ptsd five years ago and some side effects that stop me from working are panic and anxiety attacks. I didn’t want to take a breath after my breakup because I felt like I had to move on with my life, took the job I dreamed of as a kid but somewhere in my mind I knew it might be to stressful.

Thinking ”oh they probably won’t hire me but you never know” like I do with everything lately got me the job. Maybe because I wasn’t nervous and put trust in the universe. I pushed so hard with everything I had but sadly it didn’t work out and I had to say goodbye to my sweet colleagues. Some of them are spiritual aswell and they said that they know and feel my purpose is somewhere else. The next day I felt so heavy like there was a rock on my chest that kept me from swimming to grab some air.

I was in the deep dark cold water looking up at the light and the sparkles from the sun kissing the water, trying to reach it but I couldn’t. With the help of some amazing friends I could. I don’t want the darkness to grab me so I will always push with every strength I have. I got outside of the house, seek comfort in the forest and went to my friend Bradley. We talked about how I didn’t know what to do in life and he said I should take my blogs to a website. During the last dark moon I did a tarot reading and the cards said: ‘It looks like you are on your way to do a new project that is about you. Something that fits you and creativity. However you are unsure how it will turn out or how to start. It could be possible you will make mistakes but that doesn’t matter. You can learn from your mistakes so step out of the shadow and bring your creativity to light.‘ Well almost a year later here I am! ready, more than ever. Going trough all my feelings and difficulties instead of pushing them away. That is the way to heal. Starting in the 420 month, I love it. No other month and greater year than that.

You will slowly find my mental health journey during school, internships, work, festival, travels… with a touch of magic. Enjoy! Find more about who I am on my page in the about section.

With love,

Monika